Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
