Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
