They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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