atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
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She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Boobs are out for the taking
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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