I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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