I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
