Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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