I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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