break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
