you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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