My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
