she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
