did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
