were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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