ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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