It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This toilet bowl is my home.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
