only you would photoshop your dick
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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