Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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