careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
