Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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