this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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