Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
this is an emotional support booty call
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
