theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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