watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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