Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
