hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
