i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
