did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
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I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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