my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
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