I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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