that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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