I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
babies were throwing up all over the place
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize