No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
