we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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