It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
