I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
