D3 body, D1 cock
I cockslap morals
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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