Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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