So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
