he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
