Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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