can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize