Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
