Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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