I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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