What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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