Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
