So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
