Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
