I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
