i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
