in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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