I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
two words...techno handjob
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
