I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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