can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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