Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
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