So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
