She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
