I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
