So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize